雙面人生 @ 追女生要花多少錢？

道歉能讓過失變成一件正面的事情。當你承認做錯事情，別人可能會對你另眼相看。

新功能介紹真愛橋評價

出版日期：2014/02/27

語言：繁體中文

After you apologize and admit what you have done wrong, you have a great chance to learn from your mistake. We grow faster when we learn from our mistakes instead of ignoring them.

The last thing to remember is not to make excuses. Excuses sound like, “It’s not my fault that you...,” “If you had just...,” or “It wasn’t me. [Name] did it.” This makes you look dishonest. It will be more difficult for people to trust you in the future.

˙to melt away 緩慢消失

If you need to cancel a plan or an appointment, it’s better to say “Thank you for your understanding” than “Sorry I can’t come.” Showing gratitude by saying “thank you” can send a stronger message because it comes from a happier, loving feeling.

以下說法，讓道歉聽起來更誠摯

（本文轉載自【新一代兒童週報】011期）

道歉很難。你必須承認你錯了──這對任何人來說都不簡單。你可能會覺得很不好意思或羞愧到無臉見人。有些人認為「不道歉、不解釋」是很好的方式，但這麼做，只會讓你更難交到朋友。

圖／Hunter Johnson

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何時需要道歉？

自重而後人重之

不要只說“I’m sorry”

你說「謝謝」，朋友、家人會知道你對他們心存感激。「謝謝」讓人聽起來覺溫馨、體貼。例如，赴約遲到時，你可跟朋友說「謝謝你等我」，而不是說「對不起，我來遲了」。

Sometimes you need to say “sorry” before you do something. If you know you are going to do or say something that will upset another person, like making an interruption, start by saying “I’m sorry.”

─賴瑞?克萊默

˙to see someone in a different light 對某人另眼看待

The first step is to let the other person know you are sorry and feel regret. You can say, “I’m sorry that I broke your toy,” or “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Then you can explain a little bit more about why it happened.

Step two is to take responsibility, even if it was an accident. No one likes to hear, “But it wasn’t me!” or even worse, “But you…!” You may feel angry, but it is important not to blame other people when apologizing.

《雙面人生》講述了處於同志議題爭議核心的故事，這是一本由男同志情侶寫下的雙重回憶錄，兩位作者成功經營了逾五十年的感情關係。身在娛樂圈、廣告界、與藝術團體備受矚目的環境下，他們提供了一條虛擬的時間軸、讓我們得以一窺同性戀的感情世界如何在最後半個世紀逐漸被接納。同時他們也分享了許多電影和電視媒體圈的內幕，諸如馬龍?白蘭度、凱薩琳?赫本、洛?赫遜、芭芭拉?史翠珊、勞倫斯?奧利維耶、楚門?卡波提、貝蒂?黛維絲、勞勃?瑞福、李?拉齊薇爾、與法蘭西絲?李爾的幕後故事。

If you hurt someone, you will give them back a little respect by apologizing. Maybe you shared your friend’s secret by accident. When you apologize, you can help save your friendship by letting them know you really care.

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▼感謝他人善意體諒

這不是一件容易的事

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“I know I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry for this.” When you talk to someone like this, it helps to melt their anger and hurt away.

完整道歉4步驟

「我真的很後悔。」這表示你還在為過錯懺悔，並對後果感到歉疚。

作者：艾倫?夏恩, 諾曼?桑夏恩

雙面人生

修補友誼

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對他人造成傷害

圖／Caleb Woods

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Apologizing is hard. You need to admit that you have made a mistake — that isn’t easy for anyone! You might feel too embarrassed or ashamed to even face the other person. Some people believe “never apologize, never explain” is a good way to live, but acting like that will make it more difficult to keep friends.

別找藉口

也許你傷害了他人的內心或身體。你可能不是故意的，但你的一句「對不起」，有助於讓對方心情好轉，你的心情也會好很多。

新功能介紹

原文作者： Alan Shayne , Norman Sunshine

譯者：徐千惠

出版社：知音人文化

第二步：負責，即使你並非故意犯錯。沒有人喜歡聽到「又不是我做的！」，或更糟的「還不都是你…！」的說詞。道歉的一方或許也很生氣，但很重要的是：道歉時，不要去責怪其他人。

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知錯能改

認錯

Saying “thank you” lets your friends and family know that you are grateful for something they have done. It also sounds nicer and a little happier. For example, if you are late to meet your friends, it’s better to say “Thank you for waiting,” than “Sorry I’m late.”

負責

補償

Now that you have apologized, maybe there is something you can do to help the other person feel even better. Don’t promise anything you can’t really do, but offer to help any way you can. Try asking, “Is there anything I can do?”

道歉過後，或許你可做一些事，幫助對方釋懷。不要承諾你做不到的事，但可盡量幫忙對方。可試著問他：「有什麼是我可以做的？」

Maybe you really hurt another person’s feelings or body. It might only be an accident, but saying “I’m sorry” can help make the other person feel better. You will feel better too.